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Writer's pictureDr. Dré Cleveland

How to Live the Life You Want: Self-Care Tips for Black Women

Updated: Feb 19, 2023



The path to accomplishing your dreams is often littered with obstacles. The most successful people today had to face many obstacles along the way. It took effort, determination, and perseverance to reach their goals.

You may have your fair share of the pain of the journey. Discouragement from family, friends, co-workers, and people that you know and trust can be challenging to handle. But obstacles don't mean you can't keep moving forward.

When you face rejections from employers, friends, and family members, or rejection by the system, remember that it happens to everyone, and there's nothing you can do about it. Rather than allow setbacks to pull you back, use them as motivation to keep going.

How can you turn your dreams into reality? Try these proven tips:

1. Burn the image of your dream in your mind and visualize it. The most successful people in the world today visualized their goals every day until they got them. They imagined them as already achieved and, therefore, did what it takes to get what they wanted. Oprah Winfrey started from humble beginnings. But she had a strong desire to become successful. Today, she's worth more than 2 billion dollars. Visualizing your dream is one of the most potent ways to make it happen. Imagine what you'll look like when you achieve it in your mind. Visualize how you'll feel and imagine everything that will happen once you finally obtain your goal. Couple a strong image with a positive mindset, and you're already halfway there.


2. Have realistic goals and unrealistic goals. Many people know how important it is to set goals in pursuing dreams. Usually, your main goal will seem unrealistic. That is because you probably can't imagine ever attaining it. However, when you set smaller, more realistic goals along the way, you'll be far more likely to reach your ultimate dream.

3. Resist the need to compare yourself to others. Many people compare themselves to others when setting goals. That often leads to discouragement and a feeling of failure. It can also lead to unrealistic expectations and plans that you cannot attain. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your strengths and the areas where you excel. For example, if you've been working hard on your math grades, set a goal to improve by 10 percent in 3 months rather than by 50 percent in two weeks. In other words, stop comparing yourself to others and set goals you know you can knock out.

4. Work on your dream every day. You will make faster progress if you work on your goals every day. Rather than just dreaming about them or setting goals and then forgetting about them, work on them each day until you reach your goal. Working on your dreams each day gives you more than enough motivation to push yourself harder. Even when you don't feel like doing much on a particular day, a simple task is better than doing nothing.

And once you complete that, you'll feel proud of yourself for not giving up and for sticking to your goal.

5. No excuses. It would be best if you never let anything get in your way. There will always be something holding you back, but don't let that stop you from chasing your dreams. Remember that if you don't try, you'll never know if you're capable of achieving your goals.


  • Successful people know the difference between excuses and genuine reasons, and they know that excuses will never help them achieve their goals.

6. Lower your expectations. This tip might sound a little counter-intuitive because you don't want to lower your standards, but it may be the best way to achieve your goals.

  • When you expect too much of yourself -- or assume your actions should lead to a specific outcome by a set period -- you'll only set yourself up for disappointment.


  • Instead, you can lower your standards and expect less at any point in your journey. Then, you can be pleasantly surprised when you do or get more than you thought!

Even though you may feel overwhelmed and discouraged, remember that the only person holding you back is you. The person who wants to make your dreams come true is YOU. So, stay honest with yourself about what you want and what you're capable of achieving. And then live that dream!


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